Around May time last year I learned something that would change the way I approach things and reduce the amount of stress that I had in my life. It was the ‘Law of Detachment’. What this means is that I removed myself from an outcome. Things could go well, or they could go bad. Either way wouldn’t matter because I just let go of the result.
It is scary at first. I was always feeling unprepared. Not because I wasn’t prepared but more to do with having to let go of my incessant need to perfect things. Partly my OCD and partly fear of looking like a complete numpty. Having spent my entire life purposely trying to have people impressed by me, I most likely have looked pretty darn stupid more often than not.
The result was something I was not expecting. It worked! Better than what I would have thought. I didn’t need to perfect anything. In fact in most cases I needn’t have prepared anything at all. What happened was that I was able to pull on my inner wisdom and the result was that things ended up going far better than I could have expected. The biggest learning I took from the Law of Detachment was that of trusting oneself. We have within us a wisdom that knows no boundaries if only we just let it shine through instead of trying to force things.
I have been fascinated with the Mind since I realised it existed (which was only about five years ago because I was living under a rock until that time!) Always eager to learn more about the Mind as it relates to health, wealth and inspired living, I have found myself creating even more time for my studies and have been at it non stop. I am blessed to have discovered great teachers over the course of the last few years and their messages have taught me so much. Yet it seems only lately have I been ready to hear a lot of what they have been telling me.
From coaches, personal development leaders, professional speakers, human behaviour experts, scientists and spiritual teachers, I have started to piece together certain lessons that have really come to the fore so far this year as I embark on the next phase of my life. Before I begin I would like to thank the following people for their messages and teachings that have led me to put together this post: Dr John Demartini, Tony J Selimi, Bob Proctor, Christie Marie Sheldon, Bruce Lipton, David Hawkins and Martin Feaver.
The Principle of Mentalism
This Hermetic principle dictates that ‘All is Mind. The Universe is Mental’. What this is stating is that we as spiritual beings are an extension of a divine source. That everything in this universe has been created through the power of thought. We as co-creators are able to tune into this power and create something amazing. This is what has helped us evolve and given us access to such incredible inventions over the years.
Everything that has ever been created has started out as a thought in someone’s mind. We all have access to this infinite power source. Although, from personal experience, there are plenty of distractions that stand in the way of us listening to what we are being guided to. For example, fear. We all get thoughts and ideas but in many cases it is fear that stops us from taking action. That has certainly been the case for me on several occasions.
As we look at the great achievers throughout history we have discovered that these people were not absent of fear. They merely used it as a fuel to drive them forward. Fear is a great indicator that you are on the right path, it means you are ready for your next challenge. This is some advice that I was given quite some time ago and chose not to act. The result is a lot of self-depreciating talk and an exacerbation of the original fear.
Find some time each day or as often as possible to just be in silence. Let all the brain noise calm down and start to listen to what you’re saying to yourself. What ideas are coming, what thought keeps reverberating around? Make a note of it and take immediate action. It is scary, yes. However, isn’t that is how it is supposed to be? Nothing ever came easy, right?
Thoughts are things and the most dominating thought in your mind will start to take shape in the physical form. As is often the case, it is important to first figure out what you’re currently thinking then decide what you want from life and start to focus your attention on that.
The Law of Vibration
The Law of Vibration also stems from the Hermetic philosophy and states that everything moves and nothing rests. We may think that we are sitting still but in reality, the earth is rotating at a very high speed while travelling incredibly fast around the Sun. Everything in the universe is made from the exact same stuff.
If you put yourself or any object under a very sophisticated microscope you will find that everything is made up of atoms. When you go down to the Quantum level and look inside an atom you will find Protons, Neutrons and Electrons. Quantum Mechanics is a science that looks at the sub atomic level and the great pioneers of this particular science have discovered that these particles actually travel in waves.
How they discovered this was during an experiment called ‘Double Slit Experiment’ whereby electrons were fired through two narrow slits yet hit various parts of the wall behind. When attempting to observe why this was happening, the elections only showed up in the place they were expected to originally.
It was concluded that our senses play tricks on us. We can only sense one outcome when, in theory, multiple outcomes are occurring simultaneously. Pretty mad, huh?! Without observing, there was a pattern of straight lines across the back wall with blank untouched spaces in between.
What is believed is that the big waves would meet other big waves and create a pattern on the wall towards the middle. While the small waves would meet other small waves and have a lesser impact at the edges of the wall. You would also have big waves meeting small waves and they would cancel each other out, hence the untouched spaces in between. These are all known as interference patterns.
In simple terms, these interference patterns can be described as good or bad. You would have heard of the phrases ‘good vibes’ and ‘bad vibes’. This relates to the frequency you emit. When you are feeling low you are vibrating at a low frequency. You might find that certain things in your life just start drying up. I have experienced that with my finances before, for example.
Likewise, when you are feeling good, you are vibrating at a high frequency and you are more present and centred. This increases your awareness of certain opportunities that are ready to be taken action of. I dread to think what opportunities I have missed, and still miss now, when I let my emotions distract me from a present state of mind.
Your emotions are a feedback mechanism designed to bring into your conscious awareness the current vibrational state of your body. Exercise, get out into nature and be thankful for what you have in life and you’ll be sure to raise your vibration and bring yourself in harmony with the universe. It is easier said that done at times. A perseverance will see you through.
Our Paradigm Determines Our Results
You may wonder why the same things keep happening to you over and over again. You have every desire to make changes in your life and yet you keep getting pulled back to square one. This has happened to me more times than I care to remember. In fact, it is an ongoing battle. I conquer one thing and then the next challenger comes up to give me a new test.
There is a very important thing to realise here. That it is a good thing that new challenges keep coming up. That is how you grow. I was always living in a fantasy world whereby I expected life to just be easy. I believe it was Bruce Lee that once said it is better to be stronger to deal with challenges than to hope for an easy life. Or words to that effect at least.
It is easy to complain about things that we feel are an injustice of some sort or that we dislike about our lives. The truth is that we put them there. Our results are as a result of our actions, which are as a result of our behaviours, which are as a result of our sub-conscious mind. Until we address our sub-conscious mind we will always end up getting the same results over and over again. We have been programmed to think and act in a certain way. Until we override this then we can expect to keep getting what we’re getting.
Our sub-conscious mind works to seek more advantages than disadvantages. We may consciously say we want to achieve something but it will be our sub-conscious mind that will dictate whether or not we actually achieve it. Therefore look at the results you are getting and ask yourself why they keep happening. What are the benefits?
I started doing this exercise recently on something in my life. I came up with one hundred and fifty benefits and it soon became quite eye-opening as to how my sub-conscious mind was giving me the same outcome every time. Now that I had brought it into my awareness I was able to challenge it. I began to come up with alternative ways of achieving those same benefits and then started linking those ways to my values. You’ll be amazed at what comes up when you start digging into your sub-conscious.
As a result of this particular task I found that I became more focused and productive in my work, not to mention developing a greater ability to handle fear. My time management has improved and I am wasting less time on the menial and unimportant tasks that once would distract me.
The sub-conscious mind does not like change. It will keep fighting back. It is set in its ways. This is your paradigm. A paradigm is a multitude of habits. Therefore you can start by taking a real close look at your day to day habits. What ones do you dislike and want to change? Take them one by one and keep consciously overriding them no matter how hard it becomes. Each ‘bad’ habit needs a replacement so make sure you are equipped with a new habit ready and waiting.
Your Values Dictate How You View The World
Each person has a set of values that they live by. They are finger print specific and are unique to each individual. If you were to ask someone what their values are you would usually hear something along the lines of ‘honesty’, ‘integrity’ and ‘loyalty’. These aren’t values. They are what you think society expects of you. I used to give answers just like these when asked until I started developing a much deeper understanding of human behaviour.
When you look closely at your life you will see what you truly value. Look at what you keep around you in your personal or professional space. What you spend your money on. What you spend your time doing. What energises you. All these things will point to your calling in life in some way. Everything that your life represents is designed to wake you up to your path in life. The key is to bring your current reality more into your conscious awareness.
From my example, I was set on my path around five years ago when my friend sent me links to Brian Tracy’s work. I was starting out as a Personal Trainer and really struggled with selling myself. As soon as I started watching these videos I was instantly hooked and made a startling discovery. That was that no matter where you have been in your life or what you have done it has absolutely nothing to do with what you can be, do or have.
I figured this out when I heard Brian Tracy say that he had no formal education and even spent time living in his car. Yet he went on to become one of the most famous speakers in the field of personal development. I kept wondering, ‘how is that so?!’ It turns out that he had been ignorant of the amazing information relating to success. And ignorance is something I can certainly relate to. He began self teaching by reading book, listening to audio programmes and attending seminars. He learned whatever he needed to in order to excel in his particular field.
I had always felt stupid. I had never felt that I knew anything. That was my biggest reason for holding myself back. I didn’t want to make my ignorance and stupidity visible. So I kept away from trying to build a business and from new social circles. I was too scared of being mocked and ridiculed. It is a very stressful state of mind.
Now that I had this knowledge that anyone can achieve success I have been fascinated with obtaining the actual knowledge that delivered success. I found that I have made several mistakes and even had to unlearn a lot of stuff along the way. Yet the process of obtaining knowledge is what really drives me. I love studying. I love developing my intelligence. This is of great value to me because it was such a big void for so much of my life.
For me, success is about living congruently with ones own unique values. As I stated at the beginning of this post, I am fascinated with the power of the mind as it relates to health, wealth and inspired living. I believe that everyone has a purpose and I want to help people discover theirs and build a business from it whilst developing vast wealth and sustainable health.
Not saying I have all the answers, who does? What is important though is that I am doing what I love. I get to study these topics and write about them. I get to teach them to my students and to my clients. My vocation has become my vacation as Dr Demartini would put it.
Values can cause conflict at times. It is very easy to impose your values onto others. I am not a believer in debate. Reason being is that is merely projecting your values onto someone else. The truth is that you’re both right. From your perspective you are right and from their perspective they are right. That is not to say ignore everyone else. It is more about having an appreciation of where they are coming and respecting their views.
Our awareness is filtered through our value systems. I will take greater notice of learning materials than I would do about cars. Likewise a petrolhead would know the ins and outs of an engine and may not care too much for learning about personal development like I do. We have our own unique interests. The key is in looking closely at what really inspires you. Buy ‘The Values Factor’ by John Demartini for a comprehensive look at Axiology, the study of value and worth.
Environment Dictates Behaviour
Working as a Personal Trainer in the fitness industry one thing I hear all too often is people blaming their genetics for their current situation. It is very easy to point the finger but truth be told, it is the wrong approach. Genetics will play a role in your outcome but only to a certain degree and definitely to a lesser extent that you would have originally thought.
Through the development of a science called Epigenetics, Bruce Lipton PhD, a cellular biologist, discovered that cells are affected by environment more so than genetics. Put simply, you take on the attributes of those around you as you’re growing up. If you see that your dad has back pain for example, it is very easy to inherit the belief that you will be likely to have back pain yourself in adult life as opposed to the genetics. In essence this is a self fulfilling prophecy.
Jim Rohn was once quoted as saying that you are the average of the five people you associate with most. If you hang around with upbeat and successful people then that mindset and behaviour is likely to rub off on you. Likewise if you associate with negative people that find opportunities to put you down then chances are you will limit your ability to achieve success. Having said that, wisdom is knowing that there is both sides to life and you will be best off by accepting people for how they are.
What Lipton looked closely at was the two thought processes that have governed our being for as long as we know it. Science and religion. Science once stated that what we have in the physical world is all that we have. There is nothing that fills the space. Whereas religion would claim that the physical world is an imperfect representation of the ideal. In other words, we live here now but will go to a better place, heaven, when we die.
What was discovered in Bruce Lipton’s studies was that if a heaven exists then it is here on earth. It is that of our minds that dictate whether we are in heaven or in hell. As mentioned previously, it is our thinking that creates our reality and a greater consciousness can override our current behaviours and results and set us up for a life that we’re inspired by.
Lipton looked closely at how proteins are working within our bodies in order to build us and found that toxins have a great effect on protein synthesis. Therefore making a nutritious diet very important. What he also discovered was that thought also affects the behaviour and structure of protein in our bodies. Therefore, how we think really does affect our physiology.
Only You Can Hurt You
Upon receiving treatment from Mind-Body Coach, Martin Feaver, I was asked to think of someone that really pushed my buttons and then think of someone that supported me. Instantly the pain response I was experiencing completely disappeared. Given the work we had already done together, namely the disappearance of my IBS, nothing was able to surprise me anymore. I did however want to know why this happened.
Martin straight away said that only I could hurt me. My physical pain was as a result of my mental thought process. We can either be run by criticism or we can roll with it. The point is that we are all in charge and can decide how we take it. I had spent so long being at the mercy of any potential criticism that I was too afraid to put myself out there in the world. To offer my services, to write my blogs and books, to live by my values and to be myself. I won’t lie it is a hard battle to overcome and in all honesty I am still only really coming out the other end. I still have a long way to go in my development.
The ego will always want to flare up when we perceive an attack on our belief system. This is natural. However, we have an opportunity then to take it as we want to. We can either fight back and create conflict or we can say thank you for giving us another perspective to look at. My spiritual coach Tony J Selimi once told me that there will be people that like you and people that don’t. And that you have to be ok with both.
‘Sure, no problem.’ I said. Truth is it was a big problem. I wasn’t ready to be challenged and disliked. I was far too insecure for all that. In time the skin becomes thicker. Each time I get a conflicting comment aimed at me I now take the time to process it and attempt to find the lesson in there. Everyone around you is a teacher. They may well have a point that they think you should be aware of.
When we are controlled by other people’s thoughts and opinions we give our power to them. We end up minimising ourselves and inflate others while deflating ourselves. In Napoleon Hill’s book ‘Think And Grow Rich’ he states that opinions are the cheapest commodity on earth. Everyone is entitled to their opinion yet there is no reason to be offended or hurt by it in any way. They are just words that can be taken however you wish.
My biggest fear has always been that of looking stupid. As I mentioned previously, I have no doubt that I have looked stupid on several occasions throughout my life. I can think of loads of embarrassing moments. That is life, it happens. I learned not to take myself too seriously and to just laugh along with it. Everything is guiding you back to a centre.
Every comment or opinion that you receive throughout your life is something that you have control over. You cannot stop them coming in but you can decide how you will respond, or even if you’ll respond at all. All of it is merely feedback.
The Seer, The Seeing And The Seen Are All The Same
A component of the ego is that of a belief that we are separate from one another and also that we are separate from that what we wish to obtain. The truth is that we are all connected, we are all one. It is very easy to believe that we are separate from each other based on the superficial differences we have. Deep down we are the same. We are here to express our uniqueness while also come together.
I am certainly guilty of making judgments. It is an extremely difficult habit to break free from. A lot of it stems from an anger that subsequently turned into apathy. It is easy to criticise others for their flaws when you are blind to them in yourself. The truth is that we posses all of it. The good and bad parts. They are simply extremities of the same thing.
Judgements come from an underlying belief of something in particular. It could be that you once heard that all rich people are evil and so you adopt this belief and you then carry on with this mindset that all rich people are evil. When in actual fact you have no proof that they are. And better yet, if you see a trait in someone it means that you have it within yourself but are disowning that part of you.
In his book ‘The Breakthrough Experience’, Dr John Demartini lays out example after example of his students being able to collapse their one sided emotions by getting to the root of their judgements and beliefs. The end result is a clearer and more balanced mind.
Christie Marie Sheldon gave a great example in one of her talks once whereby she said that if she carried a common belief that women have in regards to earning money compared to men then it could spiral and limit her financial ability. She said that once she removed those ‘energy blocks’ as she calls them and created a new belief of ‘I get paid to be me’, she received a six figure cheque through the post.
In all of this, the key point is that if you can see something, you have it. In fact a better way of putting it is that if you are aware of a particular trait then you will keep seeing it until you own it. If you perceive someone that has a positive trait then you could be too humble to admit you have it. If you perceive someone having a negative trait you could be too self-righteous to admit you have that trait too.
When being criticised or challenged in any way I always found myself jumping on the defensive. I admit I have to reign it in a bit still now. Sometimes I just let things go and other times I have to stop myself. The times that I let things go I have a greater inner peace. I am calmer and I am more accepting of another persons view points. The way I see it is that I am allowed to believe what I believe and people can like it or dislike it. I can’t please everyone.
A great example of this I learned from my coach Tony when he was telling me that if someone were to tell him he was crap he would respond by saying ‘yes I am crap, aren’t you?’ Having this awareness enables us to handle criticism better. It has enabled me to step out a bit further and get my feet wet. I certainly have greater courage as a result.
Set Goals Based On What You Want
In my first session with Tony he asked me what seemed to be a very simple question: ‘You have 10 minutes to get to an appointment but the traffic is gridlocked. You cannot get out an walk. What do you do?’ Instantly baffled I proceeded to say ‘errrrrrm, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmm, ummmmm, ahhhhh. No idea?!’ He eventually put me out of my misery and said that he would flip the top of the gear stick, press the red button that turned his car into a flying machine and simply fly the rest of the way.
Sounds a bit far fetched, right? Well one day we will have hover cars. Because someone has created that thought in their mind and when technology catches up to that thought then we will see it in our reality. Therefore it is not that far fetched after all. It is simply our imagination. The greatest nation on earth!
We lose our ability to imagine as we grow older because we let the rigours of life take over and keep us from using our minds as they were meant for. I believe it was Earl Nightingale that once said that man’s biggest tragedy was that they don’t think. We have within our power some higher mental faculties and imagination is just one of them. We also have intuition, will, reason, memory and perception.
Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor once said that no matter how bad things got, no one could take away his ability to think as he wanted to think. We have this power. We have the power to change the way we think about things. We may think that a situation is bad but when we look closer it is neither good or bad, it is simply a thing. We just decide to place a judgment on it.
Bob Proctor discusses these mental faculties in many of his talks and when the subject of goal setting came up he said that we tend to set goals based on what we think we can achieve. Therefore they become uninspiring. Instead set goals based on what you actually want no matter how far fetched you think they are. Just write down exactly what you want and then start visualising it intensely. Once the idea gets firmly planted in your sub-conscious mind, you will start receiving a hunch here and there as to what action you must take in order to achieve your goal.
I must state first however that this only works when you have complete clarity over what it is that you want in exact detail. Therefore start developing your imagination. Start thinking big. The only limits we have are those that we impose on ourselves. Finding clarity is extremely difficult. Sometimes it is hard to know exactly what it is that we want. Keep digging. It is there. The results won’t happen over night but there have been countless success stories over the years using this principle.
Gratitude For What You Have Will Bring You More
This is a very problematic subject for me. Not because I don’t believe it, I definitely believe it. I am just in the process of trying to undo thirty years of an entitlement mindset and getting rid of beliefs that life should just hand me what I want on a plate. In all honesty there have been a few fleeting moments whereby I have experienced tears of gratitude. They are amazing moments and ones I hope to replicate more regularly.
Being grateful opens up an energy field that allows more to come in. I often wonder why things dry up sometimes and I quickly realise that it is largely to do with the fact that I am not being grateful for what I currently have. It gives me a chance to pause and reflect on things and start turing my thought process around. This is a struggle!
When we look a lot deeper though we can say that our health is in full working order, we have family and friends to support us, we live in a world of opportunity. There are many things that we can be grateful for. We just spend too much time wishing we had what others have. We have to appreciate that there will always be people that have more than us and less than us. Stop thinking about them and focus on your path. Focus on your journey and be grateful for your life the way it is.
Slowly but surely I am starting to turn my mindset around to gratitude. I still have my self righteous moments and my judgements. They are fewer and farther between yet I am aware of them and work tirelessly to control them. Next time you feel expectant over something that doesn’t come up trumps or that something really pushes your buttons, stop and look for the blessing in it. It is there somewhere.
If ever an issue came up in my business that really got to me I would stop and come up with at least ten benefits of that situation until it was balanced out and I no longer saw it as an issue. It saved me a lot of time and energy and more often than not things just automatically resolved themselves. There is a higher power at play when you tune into it.
When you look closely, there really is so much to be grateful for. Things often become clouded as a result of bad news, distractions and anything else we perceive as negative. Things happen along the way. We are living in a fantasy if we expect things to just be easy and to have everything work out as we want it to. Quite often it is the trials and tribulations that help us grow. Be thankful for them.
Love Is The Answer
Here we come to the final piece of the puzzle and quite frankly the glue that holds everything together. Love is going to be the new buzz word of the next decade and beyond as humanity begins its spiritual awakening. We are realising now that there is more to life than what we have experienced so far. We are seeing ordinary folk achieve amazing things and starting to believe that there is something greater at play here.
All along I was searching for the answers and no matter where I turned I was always brought back to this point. We emanate from a divine source. A divine intelligence that when tuned into can help us manifest whatever we want. Sure we may seek the bells and whistles. What I think is more important, however, is that of meaning. When we are in tune with our source we are able to discover answers to the most important questions such as ‘why am I here?’
As I mentioned previously, everyone is here to fulfil a unique purpose. This purpose is revealed in the presence of love. The unconditional love of oneself and the rest of humanity. Knowing that we are here to serve others and share our gifts and our talents. A place where judgement no longer exists, just acceptance.
It is about realising that two opposing things are in fact not two things at all. They are merely the two extremes of the same thing. Love brings them both back to centre and enables you to grow and develop. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. You are here to grow and to learn and to be of service. That is what gives your life meaning. That is your purpose.
David Hawkins M.D PhD, wrote a brilliant book called ‘Power Versus Force’. In it he describes a logarithmic scale of consciousness. At the bottom were guilt and shame along with other emotions such as anger, apathy and fear that just hold us back. The frequency of these were below 200. Between 200 and 500 were other traits such as courage, willingness and reason.
In these lower energies we have to use force to get what we want. Especially when we operate below 200. From personal experience I have been able to see just how controlling I was in order to get what I wanted. I was always having to get my point across yet all I was doing was expecting others to live according to my own values.
The higher up the scale you go the less force you require and the more power you will have. This is not to say that you will be overpowering people instead of forcing them. It has more to do with owning your power. Having a greater certainty about oneself. Removing insecurities from your Mind and being in control of how you think, feel and act.
It is a personal goal of my own to achieve this state of being. I spent far too long living in the frequencies below 200 and I can state that it is not nice at all. Developing courage is hard. You just have to launch and go for it. You will make mistakes along the way. They are merely feedback for you as you go through your journey.
It is within our minds that we can achieve the frequency of love and takes consistent work. I believe I have enough of my questions answered in order to achieve this state. I place an immense value on obtaining knowledge yet I have always been guilty of not applying a lot of what I learn. When I do take action, however, things do start to work in my favour.
There are things in life that you cannot control. Although you can always control how you respond to those things. We can sit here and complain about all the injustices in the world or we can appreciate that they are the work of the divine source. It is not up to us to tell divinity what to do. It is about aligning ourselves with our creator and being an infinite source of love ourselves.