Why Do We Let Fear Control Us?

There are so many people all over the world that battle with addictions. Some can be very serious and others can be perceived as not that serious yet still have a huge effect on someone’s life. Though I have placed a strong emotional attachment to food throughout my years on this planet, my obsessive compulsive behaviour has meant that I went through just as many periods of restricting my eating as I did of bingeing myself into a sugary oblivion.

You could say that I was addicted to extremes? Going from one extreme to another. Riding the emotional rollercoaster they call life. One ‘addiction’ I do have which doesn’t concern me at all is that to Adidas clothing. Hear me out because I am going somewhere with this!

I have just finished training my first client of the day and decided that I fancy going into the Adidas shop to get me some more clobber. Not being open until 9am I pop into the cafe of a large UK retailer to grab some breakfast while I wait. It is first thing in the morning and there appears to be some kind of commotion.

From what I gather there is a health and safety visit from head office and all of a sudden there is this mad panic to ensure that everything is ticking over smoothly and all criteria is being met. All potential issues are wiped out and everything is great.

Or is it…?

I’m not so sure it is if I am being completely honest. Certainly not in the long run. In fact their whole approach to this visit is what is neither healthy or safe. Their procedures might be, their kitchen might be, their food might be. But in my view, not the individuals involved.

Everyone is in a mad dash ensuring that everything is correct. The staff are on eggshells and the thing that inspired me to write this is the fact that the manager involved appears one step away from being on a full blown war path.

I totally understand it. She’s stressed out. She wants everything to be perfect. She doesn’t want to be dragged into a meeting room to face an awkward conversation as to why she was not doing her job properly.

I spent so much of my life seeking approval from others. Be it in employment whereby I wanted to be recognised for doing a good job. With society for wanting to have lots of money and material possessions. And pretty much anything else you could possibly think of whereby I needed some kind of validation for whatever I did.

All this does is separate you from who you really are. It can make you feel de-valued and unworthy. It can make you loathe yourself. It can make you stuff your face with comfort food as I know all too well.

All I am doing is speculating but my views are that firstly, if this manager was confident and trusting in herself that she is great at what she does and is worthy then she would have nothing to worry about. All the criteria would automatically be met.

If she feels that she has to have a mad panic on the day of the visit then, again in my opinion, I would say that she isn’t inspired to do her job on a day to day basis. I believe that it is fear that put her in that job in the first place.

I have done so many jobs just for the pay cheque. Of course we have bills to pay and everything else but are we really going to go broke if we follow our bliss? I don’t think so at all. I think that we will be richer in all forms. I am not saying this to encourage people to abandon their job right this second. I am merely provoking thought.

When we are separated from our bliss we start to evoke fears. These fears grow and grow until we get to a point where we believe them. Even though they are complete rubbish. I have experienced more fears than I have had hot dinners, and I still have plenty now. But the truth is that I am still here. I am still growing. I am still achieving. I have shifted my mindset whereby I now hold the belief that I am infinite. That my ability is limitless and that fear is just an illusion designed to hold us back.

Should this manager’s health and safety visit not go to plan what is the worst that can happen? That she gets the sack. She can’t pay her bills. She loses her home. She ends up living on the street. I don’t believe for one second that any of that would ever happen.

We hold such a strong attachment to money that we constantly feel that we need it. Therefore we subordinate to others, bet pushed around and lower ourselves. I was taught that when we attach a need to something we will keep growing that need. We will find more and more reasons as to why we need money. We live in survival mode.

As I was building myself into more and more debt I kept exacerbating that need and spiralling out of control. I was told to let go of attachments. Let go of the need to make money. Just trust myself that I am on the right path. Being grateful for all the riches that I already have.

When managers act in this way they order staff around as if they are just sheep. We still live in a society whereby hierarchy dictates us. Yet the best leaders in the world are those that stand on the frontline. They get more trust and respect from their people. Leading to more inspiring work, greater profits and as much Adidas clothing you can think of. That’s my dream at least!

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